I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize