My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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