Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
