Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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