You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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