even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
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I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
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Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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