it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
