I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
