Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
there is glitter all over my balls
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
