girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
