Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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