he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
