she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
