her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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