this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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