I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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