Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
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I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
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if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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