Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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