is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
