Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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