I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
porn star boner night. come get it.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
