Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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