He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize