Buhtt sex?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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