They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You took a bar mat shot.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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