Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
