I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
is it fun? or sober?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
