we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Randomize
