coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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