So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
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