Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
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He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
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Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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