i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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