i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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