Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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