Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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