I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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