dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
