it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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