I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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