anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
