i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
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