i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Randomize
