PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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