barbara walters just said penis...
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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