There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize