I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
