I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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