Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Dignity is for republicans.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
