I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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