if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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