Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Can I color on your dick again?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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