i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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