I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She's the barista slut.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
