When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize