She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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