I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
