She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
