You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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